What happens when you stop postponing life for "someday"? I'm spending my 33rd year running 12 experiments to answer one question: How do you build a state of joy that coexists with the uncertainty of life? This is autoethnographic research—documenting real-time experiments in creative expression, intentional living, and deprogramming from hustle culture. No guru shit, just messy truth from the wilderness.

Every October teaches me how to let go. This year, it’s fear I’m shedding — fear of not being enough, of being judged, of wanting too much. Because joy, I’m learning, doesn’t come from certainty. It comes from trying.